Monday, January 11, 2010 .
8:02 PM

Mood: Reflective
Location: Home
Listening to: Dialogue of "Heroes", TV series


I write this to read..might not make sense to you, if you're reading through, but i hope to at least interest what's left of my readers in the future. I promise i'll update when i get this over.

decided to blog today, or rather, write and reflect. had a great..culmination of events these few weeks, so to speak. Everything is a blur..social networking, interaction, thoughts, trust, interests..not to mention work and other hassles in the way. Just thoughts, unsorted thoughts everywhere. Are human beings so easy to understand like clocks and thier components, or are they simply too complex to comprehend?

the past few weeks were one of the worst i've experienced (i wont go into detail) but the strange, scary thing is that i've been able to accept it, take it positive and calm without much upsetness or aggressive behaviour. Scary because i feel it's not who i really want to become. It's like standing on the fence, without opinion, or ideas, with the constant fear that somebody's gonna shoot you down for your opinions or if you make the wrong mistake in actions or language.

It's this ever-impending fear, that when you approach someone, you make new friends, you speak about school or topics of interest - that things will go wrong and something bad will happen. Something that will ruin lives, irreversible damage to both parties.


I need to get over this. i want to; there's people i'd like to meet, have coffee with, discuss and debate topics of interest - but its just fear and expectations that get in the way


need to fix that out..


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