Saturday, June 5, 2010 .
I cant fight this feeling any longer
And yet Im still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show
I tell myself that I can’t hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Coz I feel so secure when were together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear
And even as I wander
Im keeping you in sight
Youre a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winters night
And Im getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
Its time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
Cause I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I cant fight this feeling anymore.
My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
Ive been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that Im following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone Id never find
And even as I wander Im keeping you in sight
Youre a candle in the window on a cold, dark winters night
And Im getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
Its time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
Cause I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I cant fight this feeling anymore.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010 .
sigh =\
shit lah, didnt know how i get myself into this terrible mess. seems to come back to the same problem every day. i dont und how come no matter how hard i work at forgetting about it and getting over a really, really stupid shot at truly giving my life and love to someone, i feel terrible.
like i dont know, every time i look i get confused and crushed terrible. like one day i make up my mind, and then another day i hate her, and then when i see her again its not that bad and then its okay..
doesnt help that my favourite JOhn Mayer album's technically a handbook for heartbreak..
its just a (sinfully, really really awesome) reminder of how pathetic i am..i'm in a heartbreak and it isint even real.
Monday, May 24, 2010 .
though some circumstances and events make the pursuit of love we desire extreemly miserable and tiring to contend with, its the holding on that counts and shows that there's love in that stubborn heart.
but sometimes the solution is to let it go and continue living life before something you do something rash and stupid, and before your dilemma drives you insane.
Strange that i'm typing and seeing this in a problem-solution based nature. Love is unquantifiable and immesurable. Emotions are.
Well, glad enough i've got my friends with me. close friends. little sis. want to get through the plateau of misery i've been attempting to break through while lying to myself that i'm able to get over the love of my life.
Thursday, May 20, 2010 .
(:
Sunday, May 16, 2010 .
GOD. why does this keep happening to me
swear i'll work hard and then all this crap comes. i talk and i think the issues i face are resolved but NO. I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT I CANT THINK STRAIGHT yeah and then when i think its over i screw over work and other stuff family what not.
i just need a holiday, a break away from everything. new york. if life had a reset button or i had a choice to rewind a few days back and change everything i would. CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD AND IT SUCKS TRYING TO DEAL SO HARD WITH IT. SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.
Friday, May 14, 2010 .
even though its just been a week i feel my life's been changed. so much. i feel broken down again. not negatively..but somewhat. peacefully. positively..everything's been really simplified and changed.
This is a life changing moment i'll never forget. kill me, bring me down for saying this. but i cant deny it. my heart is just overflowing with it, my actions, my words just unconciously deviate to you.
I'm at the edge of my desire. like i'm looking through the looking glass and i see the world through it. the dazzle through your eyes. possible futures. Your world and my world together.
This is so beyond a crush or a role model. you are my world.
i'm terrified that even when my mind tells me not to, i'm willing to sacrifice so much for you. even entrust my deepest, most precious posessions to you. Terrified that you dont even have to say a word..just being around you, i want to be like you and with you.
I dont even need to tell you, or look you in the eye, or just ask if there's a feeling. I'm just so amazed, devoted to your beauty in such a..strange way that even mystifies myself. I'm happy just be be around you. just to see you or even talk to you..even if i dont show emotion. even if you love being with other friends more than me. even just knowing you exist, you're there. online. I'm just happy. to be the man on the side.
I dont even feel impatient..I dont even wish you'd make up your mind about me. About who i am. i'm just happy to be someone in your life. no matter how small.
I just wish, so much that i could be someone more to you. I could do more for you..even if it means just the little things.
I'm going to be honest. I'm scared. scared i'll lose you even though we're just ..friends. scared that we'll drift apart over the years. scared if i tell you i love you enough you'll push me away.
I'm not going to lie. to you, or myself, or anyone else. i feel i'm going through heartbreak warfare and a mid-life crisis, even though i'm just a 19 year old kid.
my heart skipped a beat..and i defied my own logic by taking a chance with you. I wish i had the courage to tell you face to face. and i want to. maybe someday. sometime soon.
even though i cant express myself proper.
but..somehow. something tells me, maybe i dont care. i'm letting my heart take over. call me insensitive. or just plain stupid. but even if it means being cut down, or stomped down by others. labled for being lovesick, idiotic, immature.
i swear to God, i'll be there for you no matter what happens. even if it means sacrificing everything i ever dreamed of, Nothing's gonna stop me from caring about you.
Thursday, May 13, 2010 .
i'm grappling with the possibility that i've made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. ever. i feel really, really stupid. lonely. dont know what to feel or think.
but i know i miss you and i think about you every day. almost ever hour. i know you don't think about me that much but i'm worried about you. i think if you're alright, whether you're tired. and i keep wishing i could be there to hold you when you're cold.
i dont know why. it scares me to think that i care for you enough to throw my life away.
Sunday, May 9, 2010 .
I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you
I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you
Thursday, April 22, 2010 .
EMBRACE YOUR INNER ROCKSTAR BABEH! <3
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 .
Mood: Happy dappy lappy nappy gappy sappy jappy. anything that rhymes with -y.
Location: OFFICE
Listening to: Voodoo By Adam Lambert
HELLO EVERYONE
work is awesome work is good, although in this few 4 weeks i've fallen sick twice it is still awesome. been doing stuff like designing webs..experimenting with design, sending out invites, sorting out databases and all forms of work big and small. Its been interesting went to see some NUS students present some of their architecture projects (:
Interesting insight into the mind of an architect..its all about design, then again its all about the practicalty and philosophy of space. many of the stuff we see today (ie, central) seem so awesome on the outside but on the inside seem very cramped and weird. but ah well! its hard. For me i'd have trouble balancing design and practicality too..and its in a totally new dimension so yea. but still! inspried and interested. maybe another potential future career path? :P
being a singer-songwriter-philatrophist-businessman still sounds good thou.
annnnnnyway. Mayb i'll post some designs up here another time to see..nothing's really finalized yet. but check out GK-Hi's facebook and twit for me yea! facebook.com/gkhope twitter.com/gkhope. fwd to your friends!
